mask

behind that thick paint on a clown's face...
hides a story of bitterness and sorrow...
which is not known to the world...

when the paint is on...
its time to cover all sorrow and bitterness...
its time to bring laughther into the life of others...
but when the paint is remove...
who shall bring joy to their life?

i am tired...
tired of everything..

when you think you have everything... you actually have nothing...
it looks like i've got all the things i wan... but actually i have none..
whats the point of having so many things when you dun have the basics to keep you moving...

i have very important things in my life missing...
happiness
love

i have lost happiness a long time ago... and i still cannot find them...
love... i did not lost love... how can you lost something when you did not even own it in the first place... for 19 yrs of my life... i never owned love...

i chose not to believe that the most important things that keep me going are all gone...
i kept dreaming of the impossible...
now i have come to understand...
do not dream when you know it will never come true... it will only make life miserable...
how to dream... when you have nothing...
i know it shall never come back and i would never own such thing...

i am no cinderella... and my life is no fairytale...
but only a empty shell...

i shall stop dreaming...
not anymore...