all i need to do is ask... but i rather not...

have you ever wanted something so badly...
tried very hard to get it...
but you just couldn't...

the feeling is nasty isn't it?
i noe it..
i have this feeling too...

when you have and get everything you want almost too easily...
its not easy coping with this feeling...

maybe its because i got everything i want so easily that i was made to noe this feeling...
this feeling that i have seldom ever felt in life...

now i noe this feeling
i noe the feeling...
unpleasant...
nothing but agony...

can i get what i want...
what i really desire...
the thing or rather the person i wanted most...

can i?
pretty please...

you said...
all i have to do is ask...
but do i get the answer i want when i ask?
am i guaranteed with the answer i want..

risk... is what you would say again...
what if...
its a hard price to pay... and not getting the answer i want...
if thats the case...
i rather bear the agony and unpleasant feeling
than putting everything in jeopardy...

putting the only HOPE i have... in jeopardy...

at least... i still have HOPE now...
if i asked and do not get what i want...
i have NOTHING left ... not even a glimpse of HOPE...

HOPE is enough to keep everything in my world going...
enough to make me carry that feeling...

till i am ready... (when will the day come?)