on a breaking point...

my emotions are walking on a thin thread...
whenever i think about things...
i shiver in fear...
my thoughts are freaking me out...
i am scared at my sudden thoughts of it
and it makes me shit in my pants...

to me honest...
i starting to have suicidal thoughts...
i don't know why...
when things are fine...
these thoughts scare the hell out of me...
when i am depress...
these thoughts are my only escape from the harsh reality of the world...

its not about HIM...
its other things...

i don't know if i can last that long...
i am afraid...
i am afraid if i go bonkers suddenly...
and not live to see tommorrow...

it scaring me out...

everything is just so stresful...

school...
MP (major project) is killing me....

family...
my mum is a little unstable oso...
probably menopause when hormones are imbalance... Haha...

i am gald i can still joke around now...

how about tommorrow?

will i still crack a joke or two...
or maybe none...
and never again...

ps: if i ever die... my only regret is letting many chances of telling you how i feel about you slip away from me... i hate myself for that...