none

I have found the paradox that if I love unitl it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love

- Mother Teresa -

worrying

title: something is worrying me...

so many things to worry... blah blah blah

i think i am going to be bulimic (dunno spell wrongly ma)... which means i throw up wad ever i eat

gosh! but i dun throw up everything i eat... i just got the urge...

whats i happening?!

my life is just revolving around my weight... i just going to go crazy over this...

if i get a kg fatter... my day is just mad... if i lost a kg... i will be so damn please...

the first thing i do in the morning is to look in the mirror to see how fat i am... den i will ask my mummy "i look fat today a not?"

i think my mum is going crazy too..

FREAK!

why is so many happening to me...

people always say... i am so lucky... only child... my mum and dad love me like mad... i got everything i want...

BUT

do you know how troubled i am?!

so many things to worry about..

there are alot of things you have that i do not have...

at least all of you are bless with good health

so dun envy me everytime... cos you all are bless with something i dun have... and i am not the cheerful girl u see everyday...

I AM BREAKING INSIDE...

some ppl are poor but they have no worries...

some ppl have everything they want in the world but do you know they are just so empty inside...

hai...

why do pppl have problems...

i just so good to be a kid..

nothing to worry...

maybe just worry about how much marks u gonna get for your spelling..

hahaa

can someone teach me how to forget my worries...?

ppl: yah... go and die lo...

FUCK LAH!

some people catches my eye...

but people who are special like you catches my heart...

dreams...

title: dreams

i dreamt that i was married... haha...

to a doctor...

he looks just like the guy of my dreams...

aWww... so sweet

BUT

they say dream are always opposite from real life...

so...

which means...

i am not getting married for the rest of my life

and surely not a doctor

who would not look like my dream guy...

DAMN!

can this dream come true

please...

tiny winy please...

just this dream only...

please...

PLEASE LA!

stressed up

title: stressed up

2 paper down... 1 more to go... and i am so stresse up over the week... so many things happen since last week till now...

some problem with friends family... problem wif friend... friend relative die... exams....

wah..

i can collapsed under them...

wad really is killing me is the exams... and some fucking problem that i wan to resolve...

next monday my last paper... den i free be free...

about that F-problem (fucking problem)... i guess it will just keep them shut in my heart first... but the feeling is just so "kao wei"... how would u feel if someone say something in front of u and say another behind... feel fucked up right... thats wad i am feeling since i noe about it which was i think last week... can u imagin how pek chek i am... one thing i cannot tahan... people who are "two headed"... since you got "yi jian" about it just say it in my face... dun pretend that everything is "wu suo wei" den complain it to another person... although i am still at fault in the beginning but like wad i say is "qing you ke yuan"... but WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING SO DIFFERENT TO SOMEONE... WHY?!... what have i done to deserve this... although it is something very trivial (i am not making a mountain out of a mole hill...) do you noe how upset i am... i just dunno why must you do this... what ever unhappiness you have, say it in my face...

WHY?!

i have been s upset over the week although i never said it t anyone... maybe complain a little.. but what i am going through is more than that little complain... i just feel so unjustified... is like "han yuan er si" that feeling...

how i wish i can clarify this matter with you... but sometimes i just wanna forget it cos i noe i will not end he way i wish it would be... which is be like the same as last time... i dun wan to loose a friend... but i noe everything will change i confront you... i dun want that to happen...

i dunno wad to do....

i am in a dilema...

on one hand i wan this matter to be justifed...

on the other i want things to be settle amicably and we will still be like last time but its certainly inpossible...

WHAT SHOULD I DO...

dilema...

i need enlightenment...

anyway i am partially a fault too... it started because of me...

but i dun deserve it...

DO I?

ooh...

title: ooh..

NYP is so famous infamous now...

poly sex scandal...

to read more about it go to http://www.bexafraid.com

a jealous woman is a dangerous woman...

a jealous woman is also a mad woman...

whao.. never make a woman turn green with envy... cos they can do something very terrible... and MAD too...

singapore's so unsafe

title: singapore is unsafe

wad is happening to singapore?!... funny things are going on sia... first the gun robbery at sembawang wish failed... then there is this serangoon gun killing... then the holland road murder.... wAh... so happening...

however i have discovered something... the guy involved in the sembawang robbery has good eyesight but miss his shot... the guy at serangoon killing is blind in one eye but suprisingly managed to aim so accurately... hmm... funny...

why has so many horrendous act is being carried out in singapore over a short span of time... it seems like guns and some dangerous weapons are sipping in into singapore... singapore's so unsafe... better pack my bags and leave this island...

bye... going to madagascar..

ps: the show Catch Me if You Can last night was really nice... how can someone be so smart at that time?! leonardo is really handsome!!! one of his best movie after titanic...

pissed off

title: pissed off!!

i am really pissed off today...
someone just said something that made me feel so accused...
DAMN!

MUTHAFUCKER!
AH....!

i din noe u are like this one...

NA BEI... CCB...
FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U... !!!!!
HOLY SHIT!
SHIT YOU!
FREAK!!!

i have never swear so much in my blogging life... so you must noe how freaking pissed off i am...

ARGHZ!

happy valentine's day

title: happy valentine's day

its V day again... kinda boring... got to study for exams next week... arhz....
why is there a day for couple to celebrate but not a day for singles to celebrate... DARNz...
but i not sad nor lonely... coz got my notes to accompany throughout the day... haha... how interesting...

a few ppl whom i noe have being called to serve their national service... so to say... they are a "botak" now... hahaa
but i kinda like that kind of army life where everyone unite as one and live together... eat together... sleep together (different bunks ok?!)... do practically evrything together... even pang sia oso... (haha... i dunno)
very fun... haha... can camp in the wild.. handle machine guns.. haha... as long as you dun loose it... den u wil be in deep shit...
everything i just so FUN... hahaha
except for the shaving head ceremony and the BMT... haha...

but i think guys... erms... should be man... the men in RSAF (air force) are super suai one... how true is it?
hmm... zoe tay husband.. not bad wad hor..

but den those in air force have pefect eye sight... so they dun wear specs... but i like guy in specs... hmm...

how?!

some reflection...

title: some reflection

i have got a project group mate... he is really smart and is on director honour list..
so... you should suppose he is really hardworking... very "enthu" about project works... the typical smart alec...
but...
he is not...
you can say his a smar alec but a selfish one...
he is really make me think whether students on director's list is really hat power...
let me tell you why i say so....

once a upon a time.. i was really "fortunate" to be in a good project group (that was what i tot it was at that point of time)... a while down the semester... i discovered something really horrifying... he is nothing but a useless smart ass...

even though... i tot he may still be of some worth to the group.. but sadly i was proven wrong.. nearing the deadline... when everyone was really stress up... he did nothing... all he did was call and check on the grop progress... WTF... what we need was the actual support from you not your s-called "moral" support.. well... he did some work i would say... but only individual parts for your info. and when he was given group work to do... he would galdly push them all to other group mate... esp. me... because i was the rather quiet one in the group which makes him think i did nothing... for your info. mr smart ass... i did ALOT MORE THAN YOU! and ALSO BETTER THAN YOU! doesn't mean i am quiet means i am a free rider... have you heard of a idiom which says "empty vessel makes most noisy"... yes... you are that empty vessel... well i am glad to say you are not totally empty though... you are just filled with DUNG! cow dung, dog dung, cat dung... whatever dung you would like to have in your dung-filled pea brain!

also... a group mate told me that he used people around him as his stepping stone to achieve what he want... which i presume is gettin the top in the course... well that fren told me that he would wan to make frens with the smart ones in he course and then us them as group mates for the FYP... wad a cunning guy... may the big plan of yous be screwed up because a pea-brain like you would nt know what it means by "what goes around comes around"... well in short to say... you will get retribution my dear dung-filled pea brain fren.

well... i dun wan to claim the credit for he project coz i think there are others who put i more effort than me... Poonam and Ronald.. they both are the hero at the end of the day i would say...

anyway.. this whole episode made me think no matter how clever or stupid you are... as long as your conscious is clear u are a wothy person. if nt you are nothing but a piece of shit... !

DARN! reflect on yourself... even if you graduate being the top student of the course... in my eyes you are nothing.. worthless... SOCIAL PEST... the "director honour list student" is too heavy from you to carry...

***

it s process and not the result that is important

really fuming mad

title: really FUMING mad...

sat 72 today afternoon... and i am very angry...

not that i have encountered something bad...

i was still thinking of that pervert...

really so so angry...

i dunno angry at wad... the man.. myself for being so meek or wad?!

but i think should be the man who is making me angry...

SHIT! how can let a looser like him control my life... make my life so miserable...

but i juz keep on recalling the incident then i will imagine myself castrating him...

DAMN!

i am going bonkers...

BECAUSE OF YOU!

SON OF A BITCH!

REALLY PISSED OFF

title: I AM REALLY PISSED OFF

this week... so many things happen.. good ones.. bad ones...

i will start with the bad one first....

I WAS MOLESTED... laST thursday... on bus no. 72!!

Wah piang... the worse thing was this isn't the first time on the same bus no. and the shocker is... it is the same person... i suppose so... because the method he used was tehe same as the first time...

he is a malay guy wif mostache... around 40+ to 50+ lidat...

somehow i manage to get his picture with my hp camera...

remember his face girls!!

this is his side view... remember hard.. beware girls... especially those who take 72 very often...

if a guy who resembles this picture sit next to you.. chang seats! even if there is no seat... rather stand!

if you unsure if the guy next to you is this guy... his way of outraging your modesty is first t put his legs very near yours.. then his hand will slowly move nearer to your thigh... also.. his elbow will be resting near your pelvic region... also his arm will try to rest them on on chest... also..he sometimes will pretend to be sleeping... lucky i was nt asleep arbo... let him eat tou fu until he songsong..

FUCK you bloody hell..

you have try to molest me for 2 times... i cannot believe i never make report against you..

but trust me... if i meet you again i will mae sure u die in front of me

DAMN you... make me so pissed off...

don't want to talk about such fucking stuff...

although my mood till today is still damn bad...whenever i think about that bastard... MORON... IDIOTIC... hope you gt run over by a trailer and become an eunch...

however theres something over the weekend that improved my mood a bit...

MY MUM BOUGHT ME A LAPTOP!!!! hahha...

so happy... finally i have my long time dream came true...

whatsoever... but my mood would not any better any sooner... until i take my revenge on this guy... if anyone has encounter this guy.. MAKE A POLICE REPORT AGAINST HIM!!!

i want him to be castrated! send to jail and get screwed by those hardcore rapist who re desperate for some wanking! hope they screw you hard in the ass... FREAK!

remember... no one is suppose to have their hands on you no matter what without your permission... accidentally or evn so purposely!

ARGH... so damn pissed off...

hope i can meet him again... so that i can take revenge...

FUCK YOU YOU MORON...

go to jail and get wank in the ass... till they are raw!